As Mark Twain once said , “ The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why .” For Vicki Minerva , that day came during her junior high English class . She witnessed her teacher knuckle punch a disadvantaged student and immediately felt a strong reaction . “ I was just so upset that someone would treat another human being that way ,” she says of the incident , “ I kind of knew at that point that I wanted to do something in the helping profession . I didn ’ t know what it was going to be , but that was a point of clarity where I just said , ‘ That ’ s not right .’” Now the owner of a successful Marriage and Family Therapy practice , Vicki reflects on her journey and the valuable lessons she has learned over the years .
Early on , Vicki received validation from others that she was meant to be helping people . While she was working at a summer camp , the counselors gave her feedback that she was good with teenagers . Perhaps it was her calm and gentle disposition , but many people told her she had something that made people feel comfortable enough to open up to about things . With all of the affirmation coming from different people and places , Vicki continued to pursue a career in helping others .
In 1998 , Vicki and her husband , George , moved to Gilroy . George had just been hired as a Youth Pastor for the Gilroy Presbyterian Church , and although Vicki also has a Masters in Theology , she didn ’ t feel like she was being pulled into a professional ministry . Instead , she began working the crisis line for The Owl , a non-profit human resources agency that is now known as Community Solutions . Due to the high stress nature of the crisis line , Vicki describes her time at The Owl as a trial-by-fire . “ Here I am , 27 years old , making these decisions , and it was kind of intimidating at points . Trying to decide if a person is suicidal , are they safe to go home or do I need to write a hold . That was some of what I did ,” she describes . Compounding an already stressful environment , Vicki only had six hours to talk a person out of a situation , a time limit that felt like nothing when faced with such delicate cases . She quickly learned how to be in the moment for every person and how to handle the pressure of being on call at all hours .
After 4 years working the crisis line , Vicki realized she wanted to help people in a more relaxed environment where she had the time to really get to know them . She went back to school and got her Masters in counseling . Soon after , she opened her own private practice and immediately noticed a big difference . “ In those kind of situations [ The Owl ], they didn ’ t necessarily call for help . They didn ’ t necessarily want it . Somebody else called and I was being foisted upon them . So being in a private practice , it ’ s a different playing field altogether because the person isn ’ t happy with something in their life and they ’ re saying , ‘ I need to change this .’”
Vicki ’ s Marriage and Family Therapy practice has been going strong for 33 years and one of the things she enjoys most is the opportunity for shared learning . There are times when her patients will come in with revelations that teach her something she needs to think about too . To see them take a conversation they ’ ve had and come back with insights she wasn ’ t even aware of never ceases to give her joy .
When asked how she ’ s grown throughout her practice , Vicki takes a moment to reflect on all of her experiences . She thoughtfully responds , “ I think in the early years I felt the pressure to have answers , and while I still want to be useful and I still want to be a part of something that ’ s productive in a person ’ s life , I don ’ t assume that I ’ ve got the answers .” Rather than telling people what they need to do , Vicki is more comfortable with helping people learn healthy principles that can serve as a guide . Just as her years have been a journey of self-discovery , the journey her patients take to find healing and happiness is one worth the effort .
When Vicki and her husband first moved to Gilroy , they had no idea that it would become their home . Being part of a small town , Vicki has enjoyed seeing her patients grow and change and live lives that they ’ re happy with . Through all of her success , Vicki is continually grateful . “ I ’ m fortunate to like what I do and I ’ m fortunate to live and work in the same community ,” she smiles .
“ The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why .”
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2016 gmhtoday . com
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