{ } B
AGING
Don’t Be Too Responsible!
with an
Attitude
Dorie Sugay is the Executive Director
of Visiting Angels, a company that
provides living-assistance services to
seniors and adults-in-need who wish
to stay in their own home or receive
one-on-one care within a facility.
This article is for informational and
educational purposes only. It was
written independently of Visiting
Angels. The names of clients and
caregivers were changed to
protect their privacy.
84
e practical. Be realistic. Make it cost
effective. Stay within budget. Accept
what is. All are concepts considered
to comprise today’s “wisdom.” They are
concepts that have given many people a
fi nancial edge and helped many beat the
odds. I suggest that we perhaps be a little
less responsible. Why? Because following
concepts such as these can lead to some
straying away from important values that
comprise a passionate way of living
and loving!
How many times have you chosen a
practical solution over what you preferred
to do? How many times have you been
driven by your head versus your heart,
leaning to the financial benefits and/or
perceived age limitation in arriving at a
decision? How many times have you said
yes, when you preferred to say no? How
many times have you stayed within bud-
get instead of purchasing something your
truly desired? How many times have you
hesitated to engage in an activity because
“at your age” it was impractical, unrealistic?
How many times have you deprived your-
self of a whim because you needed to be
responsible? Or worse, how many times
have you allowed someone to dictate how
you should be responsible? Have you ever
pondered what great things could happen
had you chosen to go with your wants
instead of your shoulds?
My dear brother, Noli, died unexpectedly
on Mother’s Day this year. Growing-up,
he used to tell me that it is okay to take
“calculated risks.” He sure did. And he
had a vibrant life. He seemed to live as
passionately on a tight budget as he did
when he had a lucrative one. Sadly, I didn’t
have his wisdom. And as I sat on the plane
on my way to pay my last respects, while
staring down at the vast Pacific Ocean, it hit
me – had I been less practical, I would have
flown to see him this past Christmas as he
had asked me to do. Little did I know at
the time that not five months later when he
would be gone. As I struggled to release the
indescribable pain that suffocated my heart,
I realized that I could find solace in the
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
JULY/AUGUST 2017
wisdom he tried to teach me growing up.
He knew that although being responsible
is important, so is taking calculated risks.
He knew life should not be just about
duties and responsibilities — life should
be L-I-V-E-D! To celebrate Noli, I wish to
share some of his wisdom as I’ve come
to understand it. I’m hoping that if I can
spare one person regret, it will bring me
freedom from mine.
…life should not be
just about duties and
responsibilities — life
should be L-I-V-E-D!
Learn from the wealthy. There’s a sense
of freedom afforded the wealthy — they
do not worry about making ends meet
financially. When they splurge on a
gift, they can easily say– “eh, why not,
it makes them happy.” They also have
the luxury of splurging on themselves
without hesitation. Although most of us
cannot always follow the way of the rich,
we really should allow ourselves to take
a little risk as long as it is manageable
and the reward is immeasurable. Being
debt free is something to be proud of but
taking a risk and using that credit card
to splurge on an experience you have
secretly wished for, may surprise you.
What taking a calculated risk might do
is to propel you to live and love more
passionately. And if so, just think how
quickly you will be motivated to pay for
it so you can take another!
Treat yourself. Many of us seem to
need permission to do this. We “treat”
others without Hesitation but hesitate to
be as kind to ourselves. After losing two
brothers in three months, I know that life
IS short; so be kind to yourself.
My mother often had the maid set
the table with her finest china. On many
occasions, her friends would ask if she
was having company and she would smile
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