But every opportunity comes with a bit of sacrifice . Having spent much of her childhood moving to a new school every year and traveling a lot in adulthood , Carpendale was used to walking away from a life she ’ d established . But it was harder to walk away from her family . Her three sisters , two of whom are disabled or partially disabled , would often rely on her for help around the house or a ride to doctor ’ s appointments . Since she left , there ’ s been a feeling that she ’ s abandoned them , which doesn ’ t sit well with her .

Overall , however , Carpendale feels that she ’ s made the best decision for her life . She ’ s still figuring out what she wants to do in Portland , but she ’ s inspired by her amazing neighbors and friends who are involved in humanitarian and environmental work . “ I ’ ve just had this feeling since I ’ ve got here that I ’ m home ,” Carpendale said .

Knowing When to Quit Charley Gilmore ’ s life changed when he decided to quit drinking at the age of 47 .

Until then , Gilmore liked to wind down his evenings with three or four cocktails , and because he was never the type to show up to work drunk or drive drunk , he saw no issue with his drinking . Except that it seemed to put a strain on his marriage . “ I noticed that my wife and I — even though we got along really well — we would perpetually get into these squabbles ,” Gilmore said , “ And for the longest time when I was observing these fights I kept thinking , ‘ It ’ s not me ! I ’ m behaving exactly the same . I ’ m having fun ! Why is she always picking a fight with me when I ’ m drinking ?’”

Unlike most , who need an external motivator like getting arrested or into an accident or having a family intervention , Gilmore ’ s motivation to quit came from within . He was in the middle of one of the usual squabbles with his wife , wondering again why she always bothered him when he was drinking , when an epiphany struck . “ I realized I ’ m an absolute jerk to her specifically when I ’ m drinking . It was just all of a sudden , like a bolt of lightning up the backside of my head , I thought , ‘ You know what ? I ’ m not going to do that anymore ,’” Gilmore said . And that was the last day he ever drank .

While he ’ s proud of his decision , there are still times where it ’ s difficult . When he first quit , Gilmore realized he could no longer bartend for his family ’ s theater business in Gilroy because it was too much of a temptation . And in party situations now , he often feels lonely and annoyed that everyone else gets to let loose and have fun while he can ’ t . Despite this , Gilmore maintains his resolve . “ Anytime I feel that way , I just keep remembering that I ’ m not hurting the people closest to me , and that ’ s enough to get me through ,” he said .

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