One night , as I was getting my regularly scheduled beatdown , Fernie came home earlier than usual . From the corner of my eye , beneath my hands covering my face , through the barrage of machine gun-like , very solid fists of the middle one smacking my cranium , I saw Fernie burst through the door , leap into the air — leg fully extended . He flew ten feet into the air and across the room , right into the middle one ' s rib cage , causing him to roll off me in pain . I was saved .

The middle one got to his feet , thought about retaliating , then wised up and ran into another room . Fernie , my hero , came to my rescue once again . Wise beyond his years , he asked me , “ what did you do ?” to which I replied , “ nothing at all , he ’ s crazy !” I am not sure he believed my version of the story , but after all these years , I am sticking to it . That night after the melee , Fernie took me into the backyard and started teaching me martial arts .

My first drill was to charge at him full speed , only to get pushed to the ground with a perfectly timed hand to my head , forcing me to the left , then the right , and so on . Frustrated , I charged even harder . When he could no longer contain his laughter , I grew even more frustrated . He then stopped the drill , looked at me with the depth of a sensei , and taught me my first lesson . He simply said , “ Where your head goes , your body goes .”

I wish I could say I knew what he meant , but I didn ’ t have a clue . So , he broke it down — high school senior to sixth grade student style .

“ You ' re letting me control your head ” he said . “ If I push you left , your body goes left . If I push you right , your body goes right . Where your head goes , your body goes . You need to control your head .”

Somehow with all the capacity of a sixth-grader who regularly got hit in the head , I got it . The lights — dim as they were — turned on . The lesson was : when it comes to physical contact , remain in control . Don ’ t surrender your head or your body will follow .

The beauty of the lesson is that it applies to everything in life . Keep your head in every situation . Don ’ t lose sight of your target , your goals , or your purpose . Stay focused on your mission and everything will fall into place . Be a good student , you will learn much . Be a good team member , you will earn respect . Be a good leader , you will have a good team . Be a good human , and life will flow from you . Lose your head , everything starts to unravel , and eventually comes crashing down . Don ’ t let anyone control your head .

These days , people are “ losing their heads ” all around us . Many forces align daily to attempt to control our heads . It ’ s why there is so much chaos , strife , division , and hardship . It comes from the top down — in politics , society , business , communities , and families . It ’ s easy to lose our heads if we surrender control . As a life-long student of this lesson , I ’ ve lost my head too many times to count . However , I ’ d like to think I ’ ve gotten better recently — we ’ ll see !

To be able to keep your head is a gift . It ’ s a talent . It ’ s a skill that can be learned . It ' s " wax on , wax off " as Mr . Myogi would say . Learn it and you will benefit much , as will everyone around you .

When you find yourself in the company of someone who transcends chaotic situations , stays calm , and keeps their head , you will have met someone like my big brother , and biggest hero , Fernie . We need more heroes . Fernie left us long ago and way too young , but this lesson and many others he taught me live on , as does he , in the very core of my soul .

Where your head goes , your body goes . Think about it , and pass it on .

Main image : My big brother , Fernie Ray Sanchez , holding his nephew Matthew , circa 1981 . TOP : Fernie ' s graduation pic , GHS Class of 1974 . MIDDLE : A natural artist , Fernie sits at the potters wheel , circa 1987 . BOTTOM : Me ( the runt ), my hero , Fernie , and the middle one ( aka : Mark ), circa 1973 .

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