Is It Just Me..?

kay … is it just me or am I the only dog that has to play dress up? I mean, I’ m not complaining but it’ s always a hat, a hair clip, a bow, a romper, even a shiny puff jacket! The madness never stops! Lately, it seems like there’ s something new to wear every day!

When I first got here to mom and dad’ s, I thought I had it made. I was too small for any doggie clothes, and I was not planning on growing much. A long life of“ natural” living— 12 ounces of pure doggie— that’ s what I had planned. Lucky for me at the time, no matter how hard momma tried, nothing fit. She tried hamster clothes, ferret clothes— yes, those are real things— and she even had friends make clothes, but nothing fit. It was all too big. After a while, I started to sense she was growing weary.

Soon, I realized I started celebrating too fast. I learned that there is no quit in my momma. That lady can shop, and hunt, and search, and … bam! Just like that, the clothes were getting smaller— and I was getting bigger. Trouble was right around the corner. Soon, dad was moving his clothes off two shelves in the closet and putting up tiny little hangars for my gear. Amazon boxes were pouring into the garage. I knew I was in trouble when I saw them giving our delivery drivers snacks and bottles of water. I tried to stop them— but not one person around here speaks doggie. Just like I thought, the drivers were coming back time after time with more boxes. Afterall, who doesn’ t love some water and a good snack?

And that was the other problem: this lady can cook! OMG I heard of canned food, bag food, and some squishy smelly stuff made from pig parts that comes in a tube while hanging with my girl dogs at the park. But not for me. Oh no, my momma had to start cooking my food special to make sure I was gaining weight. I kept telling myself“ Walk away girl … Just. Walk. Away!” but it did no good. I mean the smells, the steam coming out of the bowl— because to this day it ' s always warm! And the taste... Ahhh. Who can resist?

I digress. The point is, she fed me 5-star meals, and I started gaining weight— until I actually fit into tiny dog clothes. It was no use then, and it’ s no use now. I am tipping the scales at 2.5 lbs. Easy with the jokes, it’ s mostly water weight. Back to my story …

So many clothes. So many hats. So many clips and bows. I just want to be free. I wear seasonal outfits, sportswear, evening wear, swim wear! I wear cowboy hats during the Gilroy Rodeo, and tiny elf hats during Christmas. I wear bows. There’ s always a bow!

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As I stated earlier, this is not a complaint. It’ s a cry for help. I mean, I know I rock everything I wear; each piece of my wardrobe is unforgettable— just like me. It’ s just not easy being a fashionista. Why can’ t I just lay around in all my glory? My girl dogs let it all air out, why can’ t I? Arff, I hear someone coming. Gotta run. Hopefully I can write again soon. So, until next time— stay classy, sassy, and cool!

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