Karen La Corte
manners MATTER
Karen La Corte is an etiquette and manners expert trained and
certified by the Emily Post Institute in Vermont. Karen is happy to
answer your questions — email her at karen@marxtowing.com
Manners Resolutions for 2019
W
ith the end of 2018 upon us and the promise of a New Year, it is a time for reflection on what has passed and the resolution to try
a little harder in the months to come. Thinking about our New Years Resolutions can be as simple or as hard as we want it to be.
The most common being-losing weight, exercising more, saving more money, spending more time with family and eating clean.
But, I am going to propose a new resolution list for all of you. Let’s all work on our character, our integrity and our civility. Let’s just try
and be nicer, kinder, more courteous and respectful folks that put others feelings in the forefront. It’s classic manners 101 in review.
Here we go:
• When asking for something, say “Please.”
• When receiving something, say “Thank
you.” “You’re welcome”, “Excuse me”, and
“I beg your pardon” are also magic words
we need to make a habit of using.
• Be on time!
You can’t take it back once it’s out there.
Wait until you’ve calmed down. A phone
call or a face-to-face encounter is more
respectful for sensitive or controversial
issues and won’t have the chance of being
interpreted the wrong way.
• Always R.S.V.P., even if you’re not going. • Be better about using your cell phone
around others. Put your phone on “manner
mode” during meetings and events. Be in
the present.
• If folks ask how you are, give a brief
positive answer and then ask them how
they are. • While on your phone, don’t eat, chew gum
or talk to someone else. Give your person
your undivided attention.
• Look someone in the eye when conversing
with them. Act interested. Don’t let your
eyes wander. • Don’t talk with food in your mouth. Don’t
chew with your mouth open.
• Do not interrupt folks when they
are talking.
• Try not to be “Negative Nancy” by always
talking about your problems. Everybody
has them. No one wants to hear them.
• The handshake is THE most polite gesture
you can do when greeting someone or
meeting them for the first time.
• Watch your body language. Practice your
“resting smiley face.” A smile makes those
around you happier and it does wonders
for yourself!
• Avoid confrontations. Think before you
speak. Think before you act. Step back
for a second and think of someone else’s
feelings before yours. Remember the words
of Thumper in the movie Bambi – “If you
can’t say something nice, don’t say any-
thing at all.”
• Don’t text, tweet, phone, email or use
social media if you are unhappy or angry.
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• Keep your elbows off the table when
eating.
• Always work from the outside in at a place
setting when dining if you’re worried
about which utensil to use.
• Leave your eating utensils facing up at
a diagonal side by side on your plate to
signal wait staff in a restaurant that you
are finished.
• Do use a napkin and do put it on your lap.
• Wait until your hostess is seated before you
start eating. When she picks up her fork,
so can you.
• Don’t be so judgy in the New Year. Be con-
siderate when acknowledging someone’s
point of view.
• If someone passes on, send their family a
card, flowers, food or a donation. Let them
know you care.
GILROY • MORGAN HILL • SAN MARTIN
december 2018-january 2019
• Dress for Success. Try to be better about
what you wear and when. Remember
hygiene belongs at home. No flossing or
nail clipping in public.
• Wash your hands after going to the
restroom.
• Don’t assume your dog is welcome.
• Don’t show up to a party empty-handed.
Bring wine, flowers or a dessert.
• If you can’t get along with someone, just
stay away from them. It’s OK to eliminate
them from your circle. Don’t waste
negative energy trying to make it work.
• Write that thank you note. Then mail it.
Don’t email or text it. Handwrite it!
• Be a more courteous driver. And, don’t
take up more than one parking space.
• Don’t forget to say, “I’m sorry!”.
• My last resolution is to cherish your
elders, your family and your friends. Be
kinder, be nicer, be more respectful and
polite to them. Be more respectful to race,
nationality, religion and genders. Think
about the basic regard for others because
it’s not always about us!
The actor, Jack Nicholson said, “I think much
of decency. How to pass a plate. Not to
shout from one room to another. Not to
open a closed door without knocking.
Let a lady pass. The aim of these endless
simple rules is to make life better. I pay
close attention to my manners. Etiquette
matters. It’s a simple and comprehensible
language of mutual respect.
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